Avoid the Risk

Hey Teen,

It looks like you’ve had a chance to look through the facts, consider the consequences, and you’re thinking that it may be best for you to “Avoid the Risk”.  If that’s you, congrats on doing your homework on this and making the best decision for your future.  Just think, by waiting to have sex, you are avoiding all of the risks that you have read about.  We want to support and celebrate this with you while teaching you how to have safe sex, at the right time.  It may not be the “safe sex” that you’ve heard about, so read on for the full story. 

By choosing to avoid the risk and wait for sex, you are joining the majority.  Yup, we got our facts straight, yo!  It’s true that “59% of Michigan teens have never had sexual intercourse”.  Chances are that you know others that are also waiting.  You may want to find out who those friends are so that they can support you in this decision and also hold you accountable to this commitment.  Having an accountability partner is important if you want to Avoid the Risk.  Speaking of partners, you’ll also want to have a dating partner that shares your values, including waiting for sex.

So, here’s the tricky part about waiting.  If you want to Avoid the Risk, you’ll need to avoid the temptation.  After all, you can’t play with fire and not get burned.  If you’re getting physical with your boyfriend or girlfriend and not setting proper boundaries, chances are sex is going to happen at some point.  In fact, research shows that most couples will have sex after making out for 30 minutes.  You can be proactive by setting boundaries with your dating partner.  Ask, “What rules do we need in our relationship to help us uphold our commitment to wait and avoid the risk?”  People have different reasons for choosing to wait for sex.  Have you thought of yours?  Start by answering this question by making a list and really think about it… “What are you waiting for?”

WANT AN AWESOME DATING RELATIONSHIP?

Try this…

Relationship Rights

Take a sheet of paper and fold it in half.  On one side write,  “Things I Want in a Relationship”.  On the other side write, “Things I Will Not Accept in a Relationship”.  Now write down things on both sides until all of your thoughts are written.  Don’t be afraid to use more paper.  This is important.  You have just written down what you VALUE.  Now, find someone that VALUES the same things and is willing to respect your rights.

TRYING TO STAY FOCUSED?

What Are You Waiting For?

Think about WHAT is making you wait for sex. Perhaps it’s some of the risks that you’ve read about on our website or maybe it’s your personal goals and passions that you don’t want to miss out on. Complete this sentence to remind yourself WHAT you’re waiting for. You can even keep this on a slip of paper in your wallet, purse, or backpack. 

I’m waiting for…

Example: I’m waiting for…

DATING TIP

Make sure to schedule some sort of activity when you get together with your dating partner. This will give your relationship a sense of adventure and make it easier to focus on doing things together rather than trying to create your own “activity” on the couch or in the bedroom. Try it!
 

STARTING OVER

Ariel:  I’ve been sexual active with guys for a couple of years.  I want to get my life together and become a virgin again.  How do I do that?

P2 Crew:  If you want to start over, you can just make a choice to do it, even right now.  You’ll need to do a few important things to protect yourself in the future though.  No one has the ability to change the past, but you can make good choices now and in the future.  To start over you’ll need to make a commitment to Avoid the Risk of sexual activity.

Ariel:  So, to become a “virgin” again, I just stay abstinent?

P2 Crew:  Yes, but the key to avoiding the risk of sex is avoiding the temptation.  You can do this by setting boundaries such as who you are with and where, setting firm boundaries of how far you will go physically with a partner, and having a friend and adult that you trust to talk with.  They can help keep you in check by asking you about your goal from time to time.  Set up a regular time to talk with them, like once a week on Sunday or every other week on Thursday.  Then you can make a short-term goal to make good choices until your next meeting.  It’s just a way to take one week or day at a time.

Are you ready to start over?